Gay youth in America

Last night on Ugly Betty Justin, her teenage nephew finally came out after years of speculation. The way it was handled on the show was sensitive, delicate and romantic. Justin had been in slight denial of his sexuality and was really just figuring it out. With the support of his family he came out on his terms and I swear I could see the weight being lifted off his shoulders.

He was at his Mother's wedding, the setting was romantic and beautiful. People were dancing and his boyfriend was there as his guest, but both appeared uncomfortable and awkward. You could see that Justin was deep in thought and after a final word from his beloved Aunt Betty encouraging him not to be afraid, he went to his boyfriend and extended his hand romantically inviting him to dance and that's all there was to it.

It got me thinking about Constance McMillen, the gay teen who was denied access to her prom because she wanted to bring her girlfriend. She challenged the school and in a move out of the fuckhead playbook, the idiot school decided to nix the prom for everyone. Period.

Naturally this made poor Constance pretty unpopular amongst several of her fellow students. While some showed their support, others were understandably upset and unfortunately channeled their anger towards Constance and not the fuckheads at the school where it belonged.

I'm not going to pull out a soap box about this. My feelings are simple. You love who you love. End of story. The real world requires us to exercise tolerance. Tolerance for the jerk in the cube next door who always screams when he's on the phone and doesn't think about the people around him. Tolerance for the slow ass people who work at the DMV. Tolerance when speaking to people with heavy accents. Tolerance of jerks who whistle at any female that walks by a construction site. Tolerance for the people who turn their blinkers on a half mile before they actually make their turn. Tolerance for the people who walk through a door that you were only holding so they wouldn't get smacked in the face, but instead of grabbing the door, they walk through as if you were a doorman, then don't bother to thank you. Tolerance for lousy tippers. Tolerance for holy rollers who think everyone needs to be saved. Tolerance for people who don't understand other religious beliefs. Tolerance for senior citizens who probably shouldn't be driving, but are. Tolerance for the idiot teenagers who cruise the malls making asses of themselves with their juvenile antics and behavior. Tolerance for the list that goes on and on.

We have to exercise a bit of tolerance every day. The best time to begin to teach this valuable lesson is when our children are still young. These are tools that will help them in their lives, so why are there schools who refuse to teach tolerance and acceptance of sexual difference? It seems so simple to me, yet the waters get muddied with separation of church and state talk, and how offensive it is to others who don't believe in same sex coupling. The real world exists of people who are different. This is what makes us special. This is how we learn from one another and learn to understand and accept.

That's all I have to say about that.

Standing O's

Am watching Dancing with the Stars and couldn't help but wonder to myself when standing ovations became common place? I've been noticing this trend happening again and again at various award shows and more recently DWTS.

It used to be that standing ovations were reserved for special people and special occasions. As I watch DWTS people are standing for every gosh darn routine. Even Buzz Aldrin, God bless his old ass, is not deserving of a standing O.

As I give it further thought there are a lot of things that used to be reserved for special occasions that are now common place...

- Limo rides: Once reserved for the rich and famous, important business people going to the airport and sometimes prom, but now are as inexpensive as a taxi ride so anyone and everyone uses them (including yours truly) for airport rides, pub crawls, birthday celebrations, prom, homecoming, etc.

- Manicures: Used to be a thing rich ladies did and something you did for weddings, proms, etc. Today nail salons are on nearly every corner and the prices of mani/pedi's are you cheap, that even men are getting in on the action. Now they're weekly occurrences for women and some broads even bring their little girls who are already being groomed to expect mani/pedi's as part of their regular grooming.

Is anything reserved for special occasions anymore? Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I think there's a certain dignity in preserving certain things for 'special occasions' and standing O's should only apply to the people who deserve them most and yes, this includes our 'ordinary' heroes.

I'm just sayin'...

(Still) Fat actress

Dear Kirstie Alley,

There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just blurt it out... YOU'RE FAT AND NO ONE CARES!

There. I said it. Kirstie, we love you. We've always loved you, even with pointy ears on Star Trek. We love that ultra sexy voice of yours, your smokey green eyes and you're-tell-it-like-it is personality. However, we're tired of hearing about your weight challenge.

Look, I know a thing or two about being fat. I'm fat, but I don't go around talking to anyone who will listen about the woes of my fatness. You have money and resources that most fat people don't have. You have options.

Option 1: Hire a fancy ass trainer, get on a program and use the state-of-the-art gym you have in your home and shed those excess lbs. the good ole fashioned (and healthy) way. The success will be that much greater for doing it the right way and not the "get-thin-quick-way".

Option 2: Stay fat. Love who you are - jelly rolls and all, but for God's sake stop wearing those gosh dang prairie dresses! Who is advising you to wear those God-awful things? You're a celebrity and have access to people in high places... can't you get Rachel Zoe on the horn and get her skinny ass to help a sister out?

This could be a pristine opportunity for you to become an advocate for large women of all ages (kids too). You're hip, smart, fun, cool and sexy, and we need a pistol like you in our corner. You have the opportunity to connect with designers to force their hands at expanding plus size lines, teach them how to properly design and cut for a fat woman's body and help them make cute, affordable clothes for women of ALL sizes.

Another thing - stop trying to shock people all of the time. We get it - you're robust, you're horny for Jaime Foxx, and you've got a voice, but bring it down a notch. You don't need to have the surround sound on all the dang time!

I'm just sayin'...

P.S. Enough with the bleach blond hair and the creepy streaks - it's not helping you.

Arrogance will be mine!

Okay, I was just cruising the net and came across a picture of Robert Downey, Jr. in an ad for Sherlock Holmes and it totally reminded me of a thought I've been having since I saw him on one of the award shows this year.

Um, has anyone noticed how arrogant Robert Downey, Jr. has been lately? I picked up on this a while ago, but it was really cemented when he was presenting an award for best something in a something category at one of the award shoes.

They announced his name and he took to the stage like a big, arrogant peacock. He's had a lot of success lately and there's no question as to his talent, but I think a guy who has done hard time and who has publicly struggled with addiction for years before finally getting clean should exercise a bit more humility.

He's damn lucky that Hollywood has been so kind to him giving him chance after chance after chance. I think had it not been for his talent (and good looks) that he might not have been given so many "get out of jail" free cards. How many other actors have battled addiction and have it ruin their careers to the point of no return?

In an industry where as Heidi says "one day you're in and the next day you're out", Mr. Downey, Jr. should act a little less cocky and a lot more thankful.

I'm sure he's grateful to an extent, but you sure don't see that in the way he carries himself and if it were up to me I'd love to see him brought down a notch. It doesn't help that his last few films have all been box office smashes, which only inflates the ego even more. The more his pay check increases, his ego increases as well.

I'm a little sick of seeing him walking around as if he wasn't just sleeping in a jail cell that side of a few years ago. Don't get me wrong - I love him and have loved him since Less than Zero, and I'm sincerely glad that he's kicked the crack pipe, but if I should happen to see him walking down the street, I can't say that I wouldn't find myself giving him a good crack across the face (no pun intended), a firm body shake and maybe even a time out.

5 Things

5 Things – How Well Do You Know Your Candidates?

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A job worthy of retirement

One year ago I was laid off and until that day I hadn't thought about what my next link in the work chain might be. Suddenly I was forced into having to dust off my resume, tweak it to match the various position types I would be targeting, and by all means try to deceptively hide my age. Yes, that's right, even someone under the age of 40 worried about ageism. If I were to die tomorrow, I'm sure the words "she was so young" might be heard, but in terms of a job search, I'm old. I'm double the age of a recent college grad who comes armed not only with a degree, but youth and energy.

One year later I have finally started a new job, but I'm still in the trial period, so my future employment status remains a mystery. I really got comfortable not working. For the first time ever - I was able to be home full-time with my kids. I was able to be there. Be present. Volunteer. Enjoy a different quality of life. I pretended I was a trust fund baby.

Now that I am back in the game, I'm grateful for the opportunity to work again. Lord knows I need the money and medical benefits, but I can't help but wonder what job I can do that will offer me personal content and joy, yet be the type of job I can retire from?

Immediately after my layoff I wished I had gone to trade school. I spent a few years in college part-time while I worked full-time, but I never really had a career per se. I fell into recruiting completely by accident and for years I absolutely loved it, but I don't know if it's the kind of job I can feasibly continue to do for the next 25 years. There were days that I thought, if only I had a job at the post office, maybe I'd still be working. If only I had been a hair dresser, I'd have 20 years of experience and could probably be working out of my home, or at least setting my own hours, but my Mother dissuaded me from going to beauty school claiming I'd never make any money. Yet today we have reality shows about artists with scissors and indeed, if you are passionate about the work and talented, there is money to be made.

So here I sit scratching my head wondering what will I do for the rest of my life? I'm not an over achiever. I'm not motivated by money. I don't like sales. What I do know is that every job I've ever had that I loved involved working with people, and by people I mean customers, clients. I don't want to be a nurse. I need to work regular business hours, Monday-Friday (weekends are for family). I don't want long commutes anymore. I like jobs that allow for laughter and fun while you work. I like employers who are sympathetic to working Mothers, and I really like employers who believe in work/life balance (and mean it).

The question remains - what kind of job can I do that can carry me to retirement? The phone lines are open...

Oscar fever

It's that time of year... Oscar time! If you're a fan like I am, you've been feeling Oscar fever since the nominations were announced. I think my favorite part of the Oscars is watching everyone arrive and walk the infamous red carpet. I've often day dreamed about being able to greet the attendees as they arrive. I hate that time is wasted asking the "who are you wearing?" question. Of course you have to comment on the fashion, because it is a big part of the night, but I love it when someone like Kathy Griffin fires off questions that are off the cuff. Here's a peek at some things I might like to say...

Penelope Cruz: "Penelope, you are the picture of elegance. Hopefully you've already started celebrating regardless of whether you win or not. Are you buzzed right now? With all of this free hooch, I know I am."

James Cameron: "James, you've directed two of the highest grossing films of all time, you already have 3 Oscars and you're up against your ex-wife in the Best Director category. Between you and me, don't you think it would be good if she won? I mean, if she did she'd be the first woman to win in the Best Director category. It's probably not too late to pull yourself out of the running."

Mo'Nique: "Mo'Nique, you're known for your comedy, and most people had probably not thought of you as a dramatic actress... Now you've gone and shown the world your dramatic acting chops and are the favorite for bringing home a statue tonight... It must feel so good to have this enormous invisible middle finger going out to anyone who ever doubted your capabilities as an actor."

Jeff Bridges: "Handsome Mr. Bridges is also a favorite to win in his category. Jeff, you acted and sang your ass off in this movie. You're the offspring of a Hollywood legend, which also probably doesn't hurt your chances... If anyone voted for you because you're the son of a Hollywood legend, would you care or, would you think f*ck it, after all of these years, it's my turn dammit!"

Oh the fun I'd have... I'm very fascinated by celebrities, particularly those who have gotten facial work done. I'm always so curios about how they look live and in the flesh. HD has given me some insights into that. It sure hasn't been kind to some, but hey, who am I to judge?

I wish more people would fess up to what they've had done and I would love to ask someone like Kenny Rogers if he has a sense of buyer's remorse over his results? I'd also love to know why someone who isn't really thought of for their beauty would get work done? Steve Martin, care to chime in???

Speaking of Steve Martin, I'm eager to see what kind of a job he and Alec Baldwin do as co-hosts. Since they recently made a film together, and both are hilarious in their own right, I don't know if they would be a good match for hosting an award show? I wonder how they came to mind in the first place? Was Craig Ferguson not available?

Because there are so many people who are slated as shoe-ins in their category, it takes away a little from the anxiety of who will win. It would be pretty fantastic if there were some surprises, but on the other hand I would love to see those shoe-ins go home winners...

Sandra Bullock - I didn't see the Blind Side, but I think it looks like a great feel-good movie and she seems to do well in it. I want to see her win because I think she deserves it not only for this particular role, but the many other roles she's played over the years that make her the talent she is today. I think she's paid her dues, she's knocked a few balls out of the park and is now ready to get hers. Meryl Streep - love her, but I'd hate to be nominated in any category that she's in because she's so above everyone else that it's like rain on a parade. That being said, for all of her many nominations, it is interesting that she hasn't won in over 15 years. I'm just sayin'... Gabourey Sidibe - here you have a virtual unknown who auditioned for Precious on the fly and look where she is today. I applaud her talent, but she's too young to win this prestigious award just yet, but I am hopeful for her future. Carey Mulligan, don't know her. Last but not least, we have Helen Mirren, the British version of Meryl Streep... she gets nominated for nearly everything she does. So much so I'm a little tired of seeing her name on the ballot. Give someone else a chance, will you?

Jeff Bridges - is much longer overdue for his win. There's been so much talk about how great he is in Crazy Heart (another movie I haven't seen), that I can't even remember who his competition is? Oh yes, Jeremy Renner - too new. Morgan Freeman - who doesn't adore Morgan Freeman? But, I just don't know if this movie is the right vehicle for him to win in this category. George Clooney - my delicious cupcake... I can't wait to see him in "Up in the Air", but I don't know if the role was strong enough to secure a win. Finally, there's Colin Firth. Now here's the only man in this category that I think might be another strong contender to win. Yet another movie I have yet to see, but given the accolades he's received thus far, plus the content of the film, and knowing how terrific an actor he is, I'd bet money that if the Oscar doesn't go to Jeff Bridges, it's going home with Mr. Firth.

As for the supporting roles, well, it seems Mo'Nique is the favorite to win for Supporting Actress and Christoph Waltz is a lock for Supporting Actor. The odds are pretty high in their favor, so I won't chirp much more about that.

Finally this leaves the last two big awards that anyone really gives a care about, and that is Best Director and Best Picture. Given that I haven't seen any of the movies that are nominated this year, I can't give an opinion on who I think should win for either category. But, I will say this... there should be a limit of 5 film nominations for Best Picture. Period.

Oscar night I'll be tuning in to see Barbara's Walter's last year of covering the Oscars, then I'll tune in to watch E! cover the red carpet. My only dilemma about Oscar night is the fact that it conflicts with the Big Love season finale. Thank God for DVR/Tivo.

See you at the Oscars!