(Still) Fat actress

Dear Kirstie Alley,

There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just blurt it out... YOU'RE FAT AND NO ONE CARES!

There. I said it. Kirstie, we love you. We've always loved you, even with pointy ears on Star Trek. We love that ultra sexy voice of yours, your smokey green eyes and you're-tell-it-like-it is personality. However, we're tired of hearing about your weight challenge.

Look, I know a thing or two about being fat. I'm fat, but I don't go around talking to anyone who will listen about the woes of my fatness. You have money and resources that most fat people don't have. You have options.

Option 1: Hire a fancy ass trainer, get on a program and use the state-of-the-art gym you have in your home and shed those excess lbs. the good ole fashioned (and healthy) way. The success will be that much greater for doing it the right way and not the "get-thin-quick-way".

Option 2: Stay fat. Love who you are - jelly rolls and all, but for God's sake stop wearing those gosh dang prairie dresses! Who is advising you to wear those God-awful things? You're a celebrity and have access to people in high places... can't you get Rachel Zoe on the horn and get her skinny ass to help a sister out?

This could be a pristine opportunity for you to become an advocate for large women of all ages (kids too). You're hip, smart, fun, cool and sexy, and we need a pistol like you in our corner. You have the opportunity to connect with designers to force their hands at expanding plus size lines, teach them how to properly design and cut for a fat woman's body and help them make cute, affordable clothes for women of ALL sizes.

Another thing - stop trying to shock people all of the time. We get it - you're robust, you're horny for Jaime Foxx, and you've got a voice, but bring it down a notch. You don't need to have the surround sound on all the dang time!

I'm just sayin'...

P.S. Enough with the bleach blond hair and the creepy streaks - it's not helping you.